Fool's Gold

2017 | Digital [Clip Studio Paint]

…coming to find that your idols are made of fool’s gold and rot.

Here, Stranger comes to terms that the person behind a very important text that guided their craft and in turn the way the view themselves and the world is a dreadfully flawed person. They aren’t the type to “look up” to others per se, but in this instance they start to notice that maybe they were putting way too much weight into this practitioner’s opinions. And now it might be time to undo the damage done and truly forge their own path.

Looking back at this now in 2023, I wouldn’t be surprised if younger me made this just before they realized this was similar to their own situation, too. There’s a pain that comes with seeing how peers you respected have, intentionally or not, instilled some warped perspectives on art making and being into you. Especially when those views come from a place of insecurity or unchallenged repression. A “hurt people hurting other people” sort of thing.

Since then I’ve moved on and grown comfortable enough to not feel like I have to impress other people with everything I make—fuss over whether or not something is “good” enough, “professional” enough, not too “weird” or “cringey”, all to meet standards set by those who’s thoughts on the matter aren’t worth paying mind to anyway. Fretting over the ghosts of others’ internal shame that had then wormed their way into me. I can set my own measure, seek to impress myself, and I feel that my process and wellbeing benefit greatly in doing so.

Maybe sometime I can come back to this piece and flesh it out into a small narrative.

This is part of a larger body of work that, as of this writing, does have a dedicated page! At long last! Though bare in mind it is still a work-in-progress. You can find it here.